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Yin and Yang…..7 Steps From The Court House
Why this picture-perfect couple may not be so perfect.
Aside from the infidelity, sobriety, fights, betrayal, and being separated for 3 long years during our nearly 15-year marriage, these 7 things could send us right to divorce court with no hesitation.
Blogs often talk about the “major” issues such as the ones listed above, but before you get to those it’s often the little things that will take you out of the game. Here are a few things that we face daily and overtime have overcome.
1.Differences — The two of us are like night and day………I’m up, he’s down. I’m hot, he’s cold. I’m right, he’s wrong (lol:)). This is often seen throughout several situations in our life. I’m usually the one to overreact while he sits quietly and lets everything play out. For many years I fought this difference, but eventually I learned that embracing it could only take our relationship to an entirely different level. Of course, his “it’s cool” attitude still gets under my skin from time to time but not nearly as often.
2. Attitudes – We all have them, but mine can sometimes get out of hand. Luckily with time, maturity, and each passing year they become easier to control which has led me to be able to check mine before it gets to the point of no return.
3. Our children – From experience this is definitely something you should talk about long before they arrive, but when you’re young and in love I know that none of that matters. The things that need to be discussed could go from if they should say yes ma’am/no ma’am, to what they should eat. In the beginning this could sometimes be an issue. For example, Eric has a no nonsense, hard core and strict approach. I, on the other hand, have a more laid back/allow them to find their way approach. Overall, I am very protective; however, once we realized that both of our child rearing ways came from a place of love and that we wanted the same things, we allowed each of our parenting styles to shine through. In the end, this has been better for us and our children.
4. What to eat – I could write an entire blog post about this, but lets just say I’m trying to go vegan and no one else is having it, including Eric….So I’m on a island alone. And having to cook two meals for dinner does not make mama a happy camper, but I do it in love.
5. Friends – This is no longer an issue, but once upon a time it could’ve gotten ugly. Again, with maturity and time, we have come to realize that your friends may mean the world to you but not to everyone else and that’s okay. We each have lives and friends outside of our marriage and that’s something we can live with. We do not have to be one big happy family.
6. We deal with things differently – I am a talker and a feeler, but for him not so much. After several disputes I’ve come to realize that not everything has to be hashed out. Several times he’s had to put it all out there, even when he’s not feeling it which at the time I took for granted. Eventually I had to learn not to take it so personal while he had to take into account that I may want a little more.
7. Life – Trying to build a well rounded family, several businesses, work a 9-5, and deal with the overall struggle that comes with everyday life can sometimes get in the way. With time we’ve finally learned to leave that shit at the door.
These are minor issues that could blow your world up if you let it Once we decided that we were in it for the long haul, a lot of these things became nonexistent. We now know through our trials that we’ve got bigger fish to fry, to never sweat the small stuff, and if it’s done it love it can’t be wrong.
Thanks for reading….
20 years in the making……
Yin and Yang…..7 Steps From The Court House
Why this picture-perfect couple may not be so perfect.
Aside from the infidelity, sobriety, fights, betrayal, and being separated for 3 long years during our nearly 15-year marriage, these 7 things could send us right to divorce court with no hesitation.
Blogs often talk about the “major” issues such as the ones listed above, but before you get to those it’s often the little things that will take you out of the game. Here are a few things that we face daily and overtime have overcome.
1.Differences — The two of us are like night and day………I’m up, he’s down. I’m hot, he’s cold. I’m right, he’s wrong (lol:)). This is often seen throughout several situations in our life. I’m usually the one to overreact while he sits quietly and lets everything play out. For many years I fought this difference, but eventually I learned that embracing it could only take our relationship to an entirely different level. Of course, his “it’s cool” attitude still gets under my skin from time to time but not nearly as often.
2. Attitudes – We all have them, but mine can sometimes get out of hand. Luckily with time, maturity, and each passing year they become easier to control which has led me to be able to check mine before it gets to the point of no return.
3. Our children – From experience this is definitely something you should talk about long before they arrive, but when you’re young and in love I know that none of that matters. The things that need to be discussed could go from if they should say yes ma’am/no ma’am, to what they should eat. In the beginning this could sometimes be an issue. For example, Eric has a no nonsense, hard core and strict approach. I, on the other hand, have a more laid back/allow them to find their way approach. Overall, I am very protective; however, once we realized that both of our child rearing ways came from a place of love and that we wanted the same things, we allowed each of our parenting styles to shine through. In the end, this has been better for us and our children.
4. What to eat – I could write an entire blog post about this, but lets just say I’m trying to go vegan and no one else is having it, including Eric….So I’m on a island alone. And having to cook two meals for dinner does not make mama a happy camper, but I do it in love.
5. Friends – This is no longer an issue, but once upon a time it could’ve gotten ugly. Again, with maturity and time, we have come to realize that your friends may mean the world to you but not to everyone else and that’s okay. We each have lives and friends outside of our marriage and that’s something we can live with. We do not have to be one big happy family.
6. We deal with things differently – I am a talker and a feeler, but for him not so much. After several disputes I’ve come to realize that not everything has to be hashed out. Several times he’s had to put it all out there, even when he’s not feeling it which at the time I took for granted. Eventually I had to learn not to take it so personal while he had to take into account that I may want a little more.
7. Life – Trying to build a well rounded family, several businesses, work a 9-5, and deal with the overall struggle that comes with everyday life can sometimes get in the way. With time we’ve finally learned to leave that shit at the door.
These are minor issues that could blow your world up if you let it Once we decided that we were in it for the long haul, a lot of these things became nonexistent. We now know through our trials that we’ve got bigger fish to fry, to never sweat the small stuff, and if it’s done it love it can’t be wrong.
Thanks for reading….
20 years in the making……